Two-Ply or Not 2Ply?

Whether driving across country on vacation or whizzing around town for chores, we quickly notice atypical license plates. While some plates shout a clear message, others knock our brains into overload with a slew of seemingly meaningless numbers and letters. Do you think vanity plate owners care if we misinterpret the names and messages displayed on their fancy plates? One wrong interpretation could cause a lot of strange looks.

For instance, earlier this week I noticed a license plate that read: I lik 2ply. Really? How surprising that someone enjoys bathroom tissue enough to publicize it on a license plate. Sure, we all have opinions and preferences regarding brands and softness, but who wants to bring it into a public forum? I mean, besides me.  So, after pointing out the license plate to my mother, she read it aloud, “I like to play” (kudos to her because she kept a straight face). Oh. I got it. “I lik 2ply” meant “I like to play!”  Hmmm, maybe the owner of that plate is a wonderful musician or a great athlete who likes to broadcast their talent to the world, or perhaps they simply see themselves as a big, fun-loving person. I always want to hear the story behind a good vanity plate but, after seeing this video, maybe I’m better off not knowing.

Here’s your chance. If you could create your own vanity plate using seven letters, what meaningful name or message would you want fellow drivers to read?              

Animals Do It, Can We?

Almost weekly the news features invasion stories about how wild animals creep into our neighborhoods to hunt for food, explore backyards and renegotiate territory. Several years ago,  I saw two baby foxes on their hind legs pawing at one another and frolicking in our yard as if they were on the prairie. I felt like a ranger in a National Geographic episode. And that’s not all. Every so often, a small herd of deer race through our yard as if they’re being chased by lions, sometimes they pause for a snack. I admit that seeing them is a special treat, especially the young ones. 

As residential and commercial development continues to encroach upon our wooded areas, we’ll see wild life show up more often. Bears, rabbits, turkeys, foxes and Sasquatch (just seeing if you were paying attention) are invading our backyards, parks, towns and cities. Let’s take a peek at where the wild things are: 

Ghosts of the Cities

I found it interesting that coyotes will stick with their mates for a decade. Nowadays, as people move to find employment or care for elderly relatives and relocate for military assignments or to go to college, coyotes have better opportunities to maintain long-term relationships than we do. Have you kept in touch a non-family member for ten years or more? If so, what’s the secret to staying connected?

Those Special Eyes

When’s the last time you had a thorough eye examination? I’m referring to the exams where the eye drops dilate your pupils causing you to cower from the sun like a vampire. During my recent eye exam, I heard about the “yellow” drops and I thought that meant the medicine had a yellow color. It did. After I dabbed the liquid from the corner of my eye, I saw that the medicine was more than yellow—it was neon yellow. Moments later, waiting for the drops to work, I looked in the mirror and discovered that the white part of my eyeball had turned yellow, too. That’s when I saw the potential for a new product. Remember the contact lenses that changed the color of your pupils? Why hasn’t someone marketed a product to color the whites of your eyes? Young people and trendy fashionistas would love it.

Eyeball tattoos are not as foreign as they might sound. Several creative folks have already forged ahead and tattooed their friends’ eyeballs. Let’s take a look at their handiwork:

                       

I’m back-pedaling. I thought people would love eye tattoos, but they’re far too risky to be a widely popular trend and the possibility of infection and blindness outweighs fashion. One comment from the inmate caught my attention: He might be one of four or five people in the world with eye tattoos. His statement sounds like a yearning for uniqueness. News flash! We’re all special and unique; unfortunately, too few people realize it. 

Given all of the things that make you unique, what’s the one thing that makes you feel extra-special?        

A Colossal Tizzy?

Do you ever waver between two opposing positions? For example, consider the pupfish from last week’s post. Sure, I’m in favor of preventing the extinction of a unique species of fish but, can we accomplish that objective for free? How much money should biologists spend to save the tiny pupfish?

This dilemma reminds me of the conflict I have with the space program.  I’m always intrigued by the universe, its colors, the galaxies, comets, the planets and quasars. I love when astronomers discover new planets and black holes and have to toss previously held theories because of new findings. The universe stretches the limits of our imagination.  Let’s take a peek at what’s out there:

Despite the universe’s awesomeness, I’m not sure we should spend billions on space exploration.  How does it improve our daily lives? I’m trapped between two sides; I support space exploration but, I also believe in curtailing NASA’s funding for shuttles and probes. We’ll just have to channel our financial resources toward purchasing better and more powerful telescopes.

I’m sure you feel pulled in different directions over various issues.  Which two opposing concerns keep you in a tizzy?        

The Hottest Cause

Sooo, did you enjoy our one day introduction to summer? A single, ninety-degree afternoon sent us all rummaging for the shorts, sandals and sunscreen. I’m hoping this doesn’t mean we’re headed for extraordinarily high summer temperatures because Monday was more than enough for me. Yep, one hot day and I’m already complaining. Speaking of which—where’s our month full of rain? Someone said April showers bring May flowers, but it’s mid-April and we’re looking at a dry and thirsty land. Too much sun can throw the environment off-kilter.  Check out the happenings in Death Valley:    

Given the frequent one–hundred degree temperatures and all of the problems that could arise in a parched place like Death Valley, who would have put pup fish on the list? It’s amazing how the plight and possible extinction of this single, little fish in a deserted area caused researchers to run to the rescue.

We’re up to our necks in crises and new ones pop up every time we check the web. We all have social, political, environmental or personal concerns, but once we begin championing a cause, we grab our banners and run to different corners to fight the battle. Sometimes, after we’re tucked away in our corners, we begin to believe that our cause reigns supreme. What’s your criteria for prioritizing the causes you champion?         

Need Some Help?

Does state law allow you to sit in your comfy vehicle while the gas attendant pumps your gas? Not here! Unless you have a good friend along who will spoil you, you’re a DIYer (do-it-yourselfer).  Given the soaring gas prices, shouldn’t someone offer us a free side of fries with our gas? A soft pretzel or a nice beverage would hit the spot. I’ll settle for a coupon that sends me elsewhere to pick up the treat. Instead we get nothing, zippo, nada, except a receipt that rivals the cost of a four-person dinner. (Insert sniffles and tears here) Where’s the love?

If pumping our own gas is our biggest problem, we’re doing fairly well. After all, we’re a nation of self-reliant pioneers who pick themselves up by their bootstraps and carry on. The home improvement industry capitalizes on our American get-it-done roots. Our DIY projects generate lots of business for places like Lowes.  In addition to stores, books and cable channels that provide advice on home repairs, here’s DIY advice from a few experts:

At least we’re qualified to pump our own gas, maybe. Have you ever spilled the gasoline? I did. Afterwards I went into the gas station convenience store and bought a bottle of water to wash away the flammable liquid. Thinking about it now, that water should’ve been free!  

Despite the potential dangers of DIY, we’ll still tackle them. So, what almost impossible do-it-yourself task have you attempted? What difficulties did you face along the way? 

          

Recognize Yourself

I’m not a rabid, um, avid sports fan.  I’m what you might call a casual observer. As I see it, fans fall into three categories. The first type of fan enjoys the game but doesn’t get too excited over a team win or loss. The second tier fan cares about the outcome and if their team loses, well, that makes for a disappointing day. The third type of fan dabbles on the scary side. They take the concept of “fan” to a whole different level.

You’ve seen and heard about them. This third type of fan gets so wrapped up in an event that they go over-the-top. These fans dedicate way too much time to their sport, assault members of an opposing team, bend street light poles in celebration of a win and tip over big things—like your car. How does someone make the leap from supportive observer to crazed participant? Perhaps this video hints at an answer:

If sports fandom means sharing in a communal experience, then why do certain people go to the extreme? Perhaps they want to stand out from the community, above the crowd and beyond normal. They desire recognition for something, anything, even if it’s only for outrageousness. Everyone wants a little recognition. What about you? For what do you want to be recognized?